Women choose between your Career and Marriage



Cheers to the new week

So someone asked me which I’ll choose marriage or my career (Which I’m still building)
This question came as a joke from an old friend that said he wants to marry me and I said please I need to work on my career and he asked which I’ll choose, I told him my career in case you’re wondering 😊

So this post is for all the men asking us to choose between our career and marriage and also for the ladies that have been asked this annoying /abnormal question.


Number 1. Why do I have to chose?
Why can’t I have my bomb ass career and still have a great marriage?
Will you ever ask a man if he’ll choose between his marriage and career? Then why ask me? If it’s because of child birth we all know that you will be excused from work when the time comes or is it because as a woman I’m the only one that’s supposed to sacrifice for our marriage?


He also said marriage will make me fulfilled, did I tell you that the career I want will not fuel my soul with love and fulfillment?

So let me tell you why you should never choose!

ToΒ the women choosing their marriage over career

– if your career is something you’re passionate about you will feel empty from time to time and even spiteful against your husband.


– When you see your fellow ladies getting promoted at work and inviting you to celebrate, you’ll get angry at yourself for not chasing your career and balancing both.


– My husband I want to make my hair, buy new clothes, buy pad – you will become dependent on your husband and if you we’re independent before you’ll feel like a burden and pinch yourself for your mistake.


To the women choosing career over marriage

– How will you feel if your man does the same? Baby come and eat me for dinner and he replies that he has some work to do and other bla.


– Will you be happy going home after work every day to meet an unhappy man? Or someone you can no longer recognize?


– The money that will not leave you, will it touch you every night and tell you you look good and remember the good old times with you?


Dear ladies

I tell you that you do not have to choose, women are pressurized to sacrifice so much in a marriage when everything is supposed to be a joint effort!


I stumbled on a question to the ladies saying ladies with degrees, why can’t you leave work for 5 years to raise your kids then go back?

Because your employer will wait for you? Where will you find another job? Oh my, forgive me, I forgot that when you tell your employer that you left to raise your child they will accept you back ASAP.
It takes 5 years to raise a child?? I mean after breast feeding and when the child is strong enough, why can’t the man of the house leave his job for 5 years to take care of his kids? What if the woman is earning more?


You did not study for nothing and you do not exist for marriage, you do not have to choose, find balance, it exists, it won’t be easy but what’s the thing with good things? Not easy to get.


Where do you stand on this topic? Are you with me or against? Contributions, comments and arguments are welcomed




84 thoughts on “Women choose between your Career and Marriage

  1. i typed an epistle but only dat posted, oh well, bin happening a lot 😦 it’s fulfilling being a wife, a mother nd a working lady, it’s all about balancing it so none z lacking in any point, God help us all


  2. This question has been on my mind for quite a long time now and yeah I’ve been asked this question too many times to find it annoying anymore.
    After reading this post, I must say that I’ve enough clarity now . I really enjoyed reading this.
    <a href="hrtp

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Like you said, it depends on the circumstances… If its a career I am just trying to build up to the level I want, honestly, I wouldn’t give it up for anything….I mean anything! I know how I struggled to get to that level and all of a sudden one man in the name of marriage wants me to choose between them? Career, career, career….at least for now.


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ultimately, this boils down to the individual. Some people are absolutely happy to leave their career and take care of the home. Others are happy to juggle both. To each her own – as long as there are no regrets in the choices you make, and you’re fulfilled. In all this, a supporting partner is necessary!


    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was just talking about this yesterday about how it’s a man’s world and there’s really nothing we can do about it.. Women are expected to sacrifice more but still less appreciated. Choosing either your career or marriage will not stop a man from doing what he feels like doing in the end.. It’s always good to find balance because men of these days don’t even like women who are too dependent even if they should be responsible for their wives well being. This is a great post dear.. I don’t think I’m gonna stop typing if I’m to go on.

    Do check out my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ikr!!!! Like really? Leave your job and come back like there aren’t other people more qualified than you are to take the job. Thing is even when you leave, 5 years down the line the urge to come back wont be there no more.
    I hate it when guys say they want their wife to be a housewife. Sorry bro! it wont work for me. Tbh I think I’ld choose both of them. Why do we women have to be the ones to make the sacrifices and not the men?

    I couldn’t help laughing when I read this.
    Nice one babe!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yikes, what a lame guy for wanting you to choose!! My husband and I do not have a perfect relationship but I am so thankful that he has big dreams as well and supports my dreams (as you know, he is the photographer and videographer for most of my blog posts hehehe) We both met in Fashion School in College so right off the bat we knew we both wanted to go somehere in life in terms of a carreer. It’s very different, though, when the woman chooses to focus on marriage instead of building a career. I know some women whos biggest dream is to be a housewife. I could never do it but I their desires are theirs to attain if they want to πŸ™‚


    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right about women that wants to be housewives and that’s so normal in the society but the ones that don’t want to be are made to look bad or not woman enough!

      I’m glad for your relationship and no relationship is perfect doll πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•


  8. I really enjoyed this post and this has always been on my mind, I hate it when I hear someone say no matter the book you read you would end up in the kitchen, when I see guys who are intimidated by a girl who got her shit together I call them weak cause they can’t handle the strong girls they are the ones that ask this question, there is nothing wrong if the woman earns more, all they need is balance and cooperation

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Many people don’t understand that we all need an external purpose. Our romantic relationship is feeding our internal purpose and gives us the energy to express ourselves in the world. It’s nonsense to chose between both. Thanks for the good article.


  10. My husband and I have been discussing this in reverse πŸ˜‰ My career is taking off after thirteen years of being mum and a home educator. He’s now having to sometimes come out of work for a sick kid etc and pull his weight round the house. He didn’t marry a 1950s housewife and I’ve no intention of being one in 2016.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. You can definitely do both! The best example is my sister, who graduated from a few different universities, has a happy family with 2 beautiful kids and after years of working for someone else she just founded her own company this month! I think if you’re determined enough and if you know your strengths and weaknesses, the values you stand for and how to keep life-work balance you can definitely have a wonderful family and successful career, you don’t have to choose! Good luck, all the beautiful ladies! x


    Liked by 1 person

  12. I think women did not have to choose if they can do both. Doing something you love, whether as a good housewife or a career woman can still make you fulfilled as long as you have the heart and no regrets about it. Many modern women out there can still work and be married at the same time because they have supportive husbands or caretaker of their children at home.


    Liked by 1 person

  13. Interesting read Funke. I’ve come across women who choose marriage over career not but choice though but by the pressure to get married and start producing grand kids. And at the end they become miserable they are so dependent on their Husband and that’s when the chaos start. I’ve also seen women who choose career over marriage and also feel miserable even though they are self sufficient they obviously need a man to care for them and children they can care for. For me I feel the best is to balance them Career and marriage it’s safer and there’s nothing to lose. Balance is key. Thanks for a great dear and thanks for sharing.


    Liked by 2 people

  14. I got asked the exact question last week and my response why choose one when I can have both! Its all about time management and having the right partner that will support you. Only a selfish man will want his wife to literally murder any dream she has and become a full time house wife. Also, as an Independent woman, I dont believe a man should take full responsibility of myself and the kids. After all God created women to be of help to men and not baby making machines and baby sitters. So dear asking I’ll choose both career and marriage and if he doesn’t accept he could look else where.


    Liked by 1 person

  15. I totally agree with you, we should not have to choose between a good job and marriage, we can have both! Let’s be supportive to each other, If you force your partner to choose between your career and relationship, you will lose

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Okay, maybe I am different or rather special:-) Nobody should oblige any woman to choose either or if they can manage the two. If I had my way I will gladly be a stay at home mum and wife! The only reason I am still on the chase is financial! If my husband could earn sooooo much, I will dive at the opportunity of spending valuable time with my kids and keeping my home. The secret is in choosing what makes you happy, not what every other person is doing
    My take!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love this post I really respect the fact that you didn’t make it one sided. I think people in relationships confuse compromise and sacrifice both will be needed in a relationship but they’re not the same thing. Both marriage and career can work well together as long as both parties have enough respect for each other to make it work . But at this point in my life I’m definitely all about my career hopefully when the time comes it’ll be worth it

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I am not married yet but I still feel like this in my relationship with my significant other. Sometimes I feel like I need to choose him or my job. I don’t think it is fair for anyone to choice. We should be able to have it both ways. When the day comes and I get married my goal is to have both a supportive husband and a supportive career. So I don’t have to choice between the two.

    Thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. This is a wonderful post. Living in Nigeria, It’s harder for women to be termed both successful career and family women. The home has been deemed the woman’s territory for so long and our president with his sexist comments about his wife belonging to the other room hasn’t helped our case. However, the modern Nigerian woman challenges this stereotype. She can have it all now. Because, we as women are empowered for hard stuff.


    Liked by 1 person

  20. The whole problem of life is exactly the issue of women in a position of work or family. It the woman’s passion is her career why go for marriage & family? A woman cannot have both. Is either one or the other. Why are we in this horrible situation of dysfunctional families? Because of woman wanting both. My goal at a young age was not marriage. It was career but! Because of weird circumstances I was joined in marriage never to fulfill my one goal at seventeen. The result? Two failed marriages along 3 nervous breakdowns and a dysfunctional family. Yes, the result? Insanity! Why bear a child then throw that child in the hands of strangers as soon as that child is delivered–two weeks old babies without a mother to nurture them. Mercy! I admire my oldest child, she chose a career. Yes, she married a like minded partner. They are both happily enjoying their careers and each other. It is not the idea of marriage or not marriage. Is the idea of a family or a career. What women are doing nowadays is close to a crime! Anyhow, we learn obedience by the things we suffer. Soon, very soon, we shall all come to our senses by the power of love from on high. That’s my two cents worth if at all matters. πŸ™‚


  21. In my culture (Sri Lankan/Indian) it’s all too common for a man to expect his wife to give up her career that she worked really hard for. It happens less and less as the newer generations become more civilised and less sexist, but I have come across a few girls of my age who have had to give up their careers entirely to raise a family; at times this was forced by the husband or their family, or it was her own choosing. In any case, I don’t agree with this. There are plenty of protection and systems in place for a woman to take time out of work, raise a family, and return to her career at an appropriate time. As the article suggests the important thing is to find a right balance. Fortunately, all of my closest friends, boys or girls, don’t believe in choosing between marriage and a career; they discuss their aspirations and find a suitable balance for both. As the older generations and their backward way of thinking die away, this should hopefully become less and less of a problem for many women who have worked so hard and tirelessly to get to where they wanted to be in their career.

    I don’t have any sisters but many girl cousins whom I am close to. If their husbands forced them to choose between a career and marriage I’d be furious!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s