Every habit he’s ever had is still there in his body lying, dormant like flowers in the desert. Given the right conditions, all his old addictions would burst into full and luxuriant bloom.
I was daydreaming again, it was coming back, that feeling, that thirst, that want, that need. But this time it was stronger, it was so deep and it promised to be what I wanted, it was going to cure me of this writer’s block and my new found emptiness.
It was going to make me smile again and show me the little things that will make me happy.
It was going to set me free, I craved for it like mad sex that you feel in your bones.
But have never felt this way before, no.
I promised myself no more codeine and have been clean for two months but this thirst has been growing inside of me, the thrist I didn’t know I had. Especially at this point in my life where there seems to be a tornado in every corner.
But I held back, I promised myself and I kept to it, no more! no more illusions, no more heart felt joy that won’t last.
Writing this to tell you that you can be addicted without you knowing, it was something I took for fun.
Now am breaking free, but the WANT still remains.